Junky Christian Jewerly

Just in case anyone needs a Christmas gift for your tackier Christian friends...

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And remember to write "Merry Christmas" on the card, not "Happy Holidays," damnit!

God's Last Name

Well, let's think about this. Jesus is the son of God, and we know Jesus was Jewish. So I guess God's last name is probably something like Steinberg or Berkowitz.

Don't Be a Fool!

We are pretty confused with this piece of Christian junk mail.

On the front is your run-of-the-mill fake $100-bill...

On the back, well, this is where things get junky...

We're pretty sure this tract is worth 100 salvation bucks at your local Lifeway Christian Store. FYI, 500 salvation bucks gets you a koozie that say "Keeping It Chill with Jesus"

How To Meet Christian Singles

Dear God,
I delight in you. I really really really do.

Now please hook me up with this cute blond in the knit toboggan cap...

Thanks for sending us this Christian junk email, Matt. 

Prayer and Patriotism

A little card to put in your wallet to help remember what really matters...

Little white children, prayer, and the American flag. In that order.

Godless Americans

Politics and religion go together like biscuits and gravy. Here's some junk mail produced by an organization affiliated with Elizabeth Dole, the Republican Senator from North Carolina who was trying to win reelection in 2008. 

There's nothing like painting a political opponent as an atheist who hates Christmas and the Pledge of Allegiance. 

This ad is a prime example of what rhetoricians call a false analogy. It also follows the post hoc, ergo propter hoc formula of argumentation that is pretty common in political advertisements. 

Elizabeth Dole lost reelection, by the way.

Parking and Petting 2

The second half of this timeless classic...

"Society is geared to expect most young people to enter a happy, fruitful, and constructive marriage. If the physical relationship that will make this hope a reality is dissipated by indiscriminate petting in the teens, the future stretches ahead as a dismal, rather than rosy path" (pg 11)


"Who knows how many young women have suffered the consequences of dressing too scantily? How many boys have been emboldened to make passes at young girls after being inflamed by the indecent dress worn by the fairer sex" (pg 17)